Monthly Archives: November 2015

Proud of me

Reaching beyond yourself is to find the strength to move forward so deep within you, that you reach beyond the threshold which bounds your spirit. To achieve under seemingly insurmountable odds is to reach beyond yourself, and this is ironically the place you will find yourself. You will be bent, broken and bruised, but you will come out stronger every time. The lessons you learned will continue surfacing for the rest of your life, and you will watch by in disbelief as you witness others mosey on throughout their day-to-day life, unhappy with their reality.

I couldn’t be more grateful for the life I’m living. I work hard every day to watch one foot land in front of the other, all the way to my destiny, and I am so incredibly proud of myself for getting this far. To name off one or two significant events in my life as my greatest accomplishments would be a disservice to myself. I would probably feel obligated to say that graduating college and jumping out of a plane were some of my proudest, most exhilarating moments to date. While that would be partially true, I would be equally excited to tell you that I’m proud of myself for being the glue that holds my family together, and being the first to break the generational cycle of physical and sexual abuse, addiction, poverty and neglect. I also wouldn’t leave out the part where I quit smoking cigarettes after 15 years while I was training for a bikini competition, after losing 100 lbs. Nor i would fail to mention my professional achievements.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m really proud of myself for becoming myself. My greatest accomplishment was waking up and realizing that I can have the life I choose, even if the path gets a little dicey sometimes. The life I was leading when I came to this realization didn’t resemble the one I saw in the future, so I changed it. I changed all of the things about it that I didn’t like, and it was rarely easy. In the end, every tear was accounted for, and every drop of sweat became an investment in my future.

The moment in my life when I decided I didn’t want to be like that anymore, and just… changed. That was the first day of the rest of my life! Not only has this achievement changed my perspective, but it’s helped me help others as well. The wisdom I’ve gained from a lifetime of reaching beyond myself provides honest and caring advice to struggling loved ones. I’ve become a sort of “safe haven” for those I’m closest to, and I’m thankful to be that.

“Achievement lies within the reach of those who reach beyond themselves.”

-Williams O’Hara

Why Do People Thank You?

Isn’t it funny how we often underestimate how well we really know ourselves? Do you have that one person in your life who cannot make a single decision without the go-ahead from a trusted friend or loved one? I remember being one of those people, and I probably developed the habit from my mother, who is still that way. When asked the question, “What are you good at?” the answers may vary from person to person. Some will talk about their athletic ability. Others, about their cooking or baking skills, and many more who will claim that there isn’t anything in particular they excel at. I may have come back with a similar answer a year or more ago. What’s interesting is that few people will speak to their intrinsic capabilities; their ability to communicate well, their overly-genuine personality, or their innate desire to help even a complete stranger.

Perhaps if we try rephrasing the question, we illicit a different response? Instead of asking what someone is good at, ask them why people thank them. This gives them permission to brag about their good qualities without owning the perspective that they are “good at it.” Why we’re afraid to shine is beyond me, but it often helps to have a narrative with which we can observe our unique qualities, and not have to feel as though we’re being narcissistic.

I’m often thanked for my patience and understanding, although I don’t consider myself to be a patient person. I’ve been told many times that I am appreciated for doing thoughtful things, or going out of my way to make others more comfortable. I agree that I’m a pretty skilled advice-giver, as I have learned to choose my words very carefully, but also maintain honesty. It would be accurate to say that those around me look to me to guide them and teach them.

The first thing I try to do when faced with less-than-ideal circumstances is to try and evaluate the situation from the perspective of the person whose “fault” it is. Is this person causing me grief on purpose? Is this person apologetic for the situation? Does this person cause me problems regularly? Answering these questions for myself helps me to determine whether or not the situation is worth fighting or agonizing over. When offering advice or suggestions to others, I think I take care in matching the person’s body language allowing me to connect with them a little deeper, and make them feel a little more comfortable.

I genuinely like helping others. I am happy if I can make someones life easier. Whether it’s a just a little, or a very big, significant amount, the level of personal satisfaction it brings me is unmatched. That is why I chose to do my undergrad in Social Work. Soon, I plan to travel the world teaching English to those who might not otherwise have the opportunity. When I return, the plan is to pursue a career as a life coach, helping others see open avenues in their lives where they might not have seen them before. Teaching, coaching, helping- those are all things I’m thanked for, and I’m thankful for that.

 

 

What really makes me angry about the world?

This post is difficult for me… I’m not as eager to host an entire discussion on something I don’t like. I’d much rather write about rainbows and unicorns to be honest. But then again, I’m an idealist. And sometimes, an idealist needs to practice being a realist so things can happen. So, without further adieu…

It seems my view of the world changes drastically with each passing year. Perhaps it’s my newfound knowledge which alters my perception of life and the world around me. Or maybe it’s my personal growth, stemmed from my experiences . I’m sure it’s likely a combination of these and other factors, but I realize the older I become, the more anger I harbor internally about the world around me. I hurt for the unjust conditions bestowed on mankind- by mankind. I become upset when I reflect on how our species has resorted to such degrees of greed, violence, terror, and hatred that we are becoming comfortably numb to the headlines.

When are we going to wake up and realize we’re all One? We’re made of the same star stuff for Christ’s sake! Our narrow minds can only see as deep as the symptom, which leads to controversy with our neighbors. Religion?  Intelligent way to keep the masses divided. Banks? Brilliant way to take the power away from the masses. Media? Controlled by the government to fill up the masses with bullshit so our opinions fit with their agenda; the one that was going to be carried out with or without your support. See, it’s not the belief nor the money or the internet which is evil. Rather, it’s the entities which capitalize on them in the interest of the top 1%. While the rest of us scramble to catch a foothold, they’re making plans to stay several steps ahead of us. What pisses me off most about the world is that I haven’t found a way to fix it yet. But I’ll make my crater someday.

Getting to know “The Tabitha Williams”

Hey there,

Thanks for taking the time to read my first blog post EVER! This is a monumental step in my life, as I have been subconsciously avoiding habitual writing since I was about 14 years old. I used to spend much of my time writing; poems, song lyrics, freestyle- it didn’t matter. I loved writing, and was always pretty good at it! Somewhere along the way, I think it just became too painful. It was always the primary outlet for coping with the pain I’d endured as a child, until I became old enough to discover drugs, alcohol and other similar mind-numbing activities.

Recently, I’ve turned to LYL for help. I’m soul searching, and working diligently to figure out who I am, what I want, and how I’m going to get it. I created a Facebook group to share my thoughts, ideas and opinions with others who share similar notions, but I’ve found myself readily sharing other people’s ideas instead. I hope this blog will allow me to begin the process of transforming my jumbled thoughts into letters that make up words, which can then be strung together to create sentences. Regurgitating the whirlwind of thoughts in my head is sure to help my peace of mind, and eventually provide the world with something great! I know my thoughts can and will be useful to somebody, somewhere, and that’s all I really need to know. Until next time!